Why I Chose No Daycare (And How We Make It Work)

Let me start with the truth: I don’t trust just anyone with my kids. Not because I think daycare is bad — it just doesn’t feel right for us. I needed a path that allowed me to be present, flexible, and hands-on. So instead of going the traditional route, we decided to do things our way. Off-script.

Is it always easy? No. But is it worth it? Absolutely.

Here’s how we make it work with no daycare, limited help, and two kids under my watch most days.

The Real Reason I Said No to Daycare

It wasn’t about judgment or cost. The bottom line? I just couldn’t hand my babies off to strangers — not even the kindest, most qualified ones. That gut feeling is what led me to adjust our lives around this choice. I shifted my work schedule to start later and finish later so I could balance the load with my husband. He starts work earlier and gets home earlier (most days), which gives us some overlap that’s been key.

There are only three days a week where I’m solo with the kids all day while also working — and that makes a huge difference.

What Our Days Actually Look Like

Workday Mornings: I either make breakfast or pick something up — I keep it simple: homemade pancakes, French toast, toast with fruit and a smoothie, or oatmeal with fruit.

If it’s a class day, we’re all out the door. My daughter goes to a class two days a week and her little brother and I go with her to help and participate. It gives her something structured and social, and gives me a few moments where someone else is leading the activity.

On mornings without class, I give her a small activity after breakfast — sensory bins, coloring, or something that keeps her hands busy — so I can rotate a quick chore and clean up the morning mess before work.

Work Starts: Right before I log in, I try to reset the space and get them both settled. That little 30-minute window is gold. I use it to clean up just enough so the mess doesn’t overwhelm me later.

Days Off: This is where the magic happens. I plan playdates, look up local community events, hit the park, or visit a museum. I still clean — but I do it in chunks: a little before we leave, a little when we get back. I don’t stress about perfection. If the toys are everywhere? That’s just proof of play.

Nap Time = Me Time: This is my non-negotiable. I don’t use nap time to “get ahead” — I use it to breathe. I don’t start anything I can’t finish, so instead, I sip tea, scroll in peace, maybe journal or just sit still. It’s sacred.

What Makes This Possible

1. A Flexible Job

My job is the backbone of this setup. I get accommodations like extra breaks for breastfeeding, PTO when needed, and the ability to flex my hours. That level of support is rare, and I’m incredibly grateful.

2. Teamwork with My Husband

We don’t get the same days off, but we make the overlap count. One of us entertains the kids while the other cleans. We deep clean maybe once or twice a month if we’re lucky — and that’s okay.

3. Letting Go of “Perfect”

Our house is not spotless. Toys live everywhere. There are days I don’t get a moment to myself until bedtime. But I love this season. Not because it’s easy — because it’s ours. It’s off-script, full of detours, and incredibly real.

Final Thoughts

No daycare isn’t the easiest route — but it’s the one that gives me peace. My days are far from perfect. But they’re full of love, connection, and memories I’d never trade. I’m not trying to keep up with anyone else’s script. I’m writing our own.

If you’re doing this too — or thinking about it — give yourself grace. Off-script doesn’t mean off-track. It means you’re bold enough to follow your gut. And that, mama, is powerful.