“I miss you so much, mama.”
Those were the unexpected words my 3-year-old whispered as she wrapped her little arms around me in the tightest hug after I finished a long day of work.
I froze. Shocked. A little heartbroken. The mom guilt hit me hard.
You see, I work from home. I’m with her in the mornings before I log on, I see her during lunch, and we’re together again right after I sign off. Throughout the day, she’ll burst into the room with her bright energy, and I welcome those moments as tiny breaks.
So to hear that she misses me—really misses me—felt confusing at first. But then I realized something important: being around her isn’t the same as truly being with her.
Especially now.
We recently welcomed a beautiful baby boy into our family. As any mama of two will tell you, life with a newborn means a lot of nursing, holding, rocking, and comforting. He needs me almost constantly, and naturally, that’s shifted some of the time and attention away from my daughter.
Before I became a mom of two, she had all of me. We played, walked, read stories, did puzzles—you name it. Now we still do those things, but usually with me nursing or holding her brother, or trying to soothe him through tears I can’t always explain.
So when she said she missed me, I knew what she meant. She missed the us we used to be. The undivided attention. The quality time that made her feel seen and special. And honestly? I miss it too.
Adding a second child to your life is beautiful, but it also requires rebalancing. And while your heart expands, your time gets sliced even thinner. It’s easy to forget that your first child still needs one-on-one time with you. Desperately.
So I’ve started making space for those moments. When my son naps, I’ll grab a puzzle or a book and just sit with her—no distractions. Sometimes I leave the baby with his dad and take her on a quick errand, just the two of us. That doesn’t happen often since he’s exclusively breastfed and gets separation anxiety when I’m gone too long, but I do what I can.
One of our favorite traditions now is “Ice Cream Social Time.” It’s just me and her, each with our favorite flavor, watching a show or movie together. Her baby brother can’t join in yet, so it’s our special ritual—and she absolutely loves it.
What I’ve learned is this: just because we’re physically around our kids all day doesn’t mean we’re emotionally available in the ways they need.
It’s not about being perfect or doing it all. It’s about finding intentional moments to connect—especially one-on-one.
So no, I’m not saying to ignore your own needs or stretch yourself too thin. I’m saying make space when you can. Carve out moments, even small ones, to show your kids they still have you.
Because that one-on-one time?
It means the world to them.
And maybe to you, too.
Until next time,
Off Script Mama
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